Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Having faith even on-the-go

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I thought this month might be a little slower than the pace at which we finished 2019. That hasn’t really happened. Of course, then I realized having a family of five with five different schedules, commitments, preferences, and personalities requires a pace that may be quicker and more constant than what I might choose if it were just me. I’m so grateful it’s not just me – and that I’m in a season of seeing my people as individuals and not only a family. Some days I’m better at that than others. But here we are, swiftly moving into 2020.

Cate is right between 12 and 13 years old. She’s a seventh-grader who often acts older than that in all kinds of good, mature ways. There’s a fine line between treating her as an almost-teenager and protecting some of her innocence. I have no idea how well I’m walking that line.

But I know I’m grateful she reads devotionals and recognizes God’s hand in her life. That seems like the best place to be in the midst of a new season neither of us has either been before. But life gets busy, and sometimes that means spending time in God’s Word – our very best guide to any season of life – gets cut short or pushed aside.

I don’t want Cate to not read the Bible and get life lessons from her Creator. When I saw “On-the-Go Devotional,” I knew this slim book packed with truth for teens was just what we needed in our house. Thankfully, it now lives by Cate’s bed and she’s making her way through the 200 devotionals. Cate, who is the most introverted person in this family, likes that the devotions are quick to make a point.

Each devotion helps readers get to the core of the passage with bulleted facts or action points, and the devotions even include an application, so teens can take the message on the go with them. This book is a great resource for any day, regardless of the pace, because each devotion includes a reading suggestion for digging deeper into God’s Word.

About the book

Physically, “On-the-Go Devotional” is compact and lightweight, but its pages are filled with 200 thought-provoking devotions about 20 topics relevant to teens. This 208-page paperback book is published by B&H Kids (Nov. 12, 2019).

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I received a free copy of this book as part of the B&H/Lifeway Bloggers program in exchange for a review. Cate really is reading and enjoying it – although not while hoverboarding around the house. I added it to my list of recommended inspirational books for teens.

The sounds of Becoming

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“I am miles from where I was
It’s so far from where I want to be
With each step I learn to trust
The maker is still making me …”
– Jason Gray in “Becoming”

In September, I sat with on my counselor’s couch and told her about this idea of transformation being a process of order to disorder to reorder. I stole the concept from singer/songwriter Jason Gray who was inspired by Franciscan friar and author Richard Rohr’s idea and wrote some songs about it. On the heels of a hard year, these songs helped me make sense out of conflict, disappointment, loss, and grief. They helped me see how God was working even when my heart and head hurt.

These songs are part of a three-part project that’s being released in segments. The first set of songs – “Order” – has been out since September and I’ve been listening to it frequently. There is also a five-day devotional that goes along with the songs and spoke truth into my wounded soul. I can’t carry a tune and I haven’t played my clarinet since 1993, but other people’s songs have always marked my seasons and helped me along.

So, of course, I looked to see if Jason Gray was on tour. He didn’t have any dates near me, but not long after he posted on Instagram about wanting to schedule some small shows with him and his guitar. My mind started intertwining lots of ideas I had to make a concert part of a bigger fundraiser for our mission team that’s headed to Guatemala in April and needed to raise thousands of dollars to build two houses, visit about 20 families and help meet some of the physical needs, and distribute 50 wheelchairs. Jason Gray and I exchanged some emails and got a date on the calendar.

The date was last night, and this morning my heart is full.

My natural Enneagram One way is to think about how more seats could have been filled or more money raised, but I know God is asking me to unclench my fists and hold my palms wide open. It’s an ongoing conversation God and I have and one we’ll probably continuing having because Jesus saved me from my sins but he’s still saving me from my anxious ways.

Last night Jason talked about how our weaknesses are what make us safe places for each other. Then he sang about how the wounds are where the light gets in, trusting is a lot like falling, and sometimes the truth is hard to tell ourselves. He sang about how we’re all still becoming and being made new. He sang about how it’s good to be alive, even if we have to be reminded who we are.

Before the concert, we had a chili cook-off with 11 pots of chili from my friends, a silent auction of donations from other friends, and a bake sale my daughter and her best friend headed up. There were lots of ways to support our mission projects and these families in Guatemala we’ll get to serve, but, more importantly, there were many ways to be connected to one another. That’s where God does beautiful work.

Maybe it’s on a counselor’s couch, through the songs of a stranger who seems to understand, or while planning an event so a team of people can serve together, but we are at our best when we make room for each other – even when the brokenness is obvious and the wounds are far from healed.

Jason Gray opened his show with “Becoming” – one of those songs from the “Order” project. That’s my word this year. In 2020, I want to focus on becoming more like Christ, resting in real life knowing living surrendered is far more productive than controlling and clinching. Jason didn’t know that’s where I am, but he knew that’s where he’d been and trusted he wasn’t the only one.

Becoming is living

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I’ve had a lot of feelings this year, and many of them have been hard to handle internally. I also have experienced deeper awareness of myself, husband, kids, dearest friends, and even a larger circle of friends — who we are individually and how we best fit together. In August, I started going to counseling again, probably several months later than I should have.

The year started with a conflict, involved many decisions about how to spend my time, and was marked by grief when my dad died and then when I had to shift some commitments and thinking in my life. I felt most myself in November, and I’m thankful for that after so many months of thinking and deciding and wrestling — most of those actions taking place in my own head. I’m grateful my very loud inner critic has quieted some and I’m more secure in who God made me to be.

When I chose faithful as my focus this year, I had some ideas of what that meant, but, of course, God went and created a whole new thing with it. He shifted and shaped me. He provided for me in ways I didn’t necessarily know I needed. He was faithful, even when I struggled to grieve during my favorite summer season and felt Him making me new when nature was dying for the winter.

Two years ago, I focused on how Jesus is my rescue. Then I learned more about living that out faithfully. Now it’s time to focus more on becoming more like Christ, which right now for me looks like …

… becoming more of who God made me to be.
… becoming more patient and kind.
… becoming more free from the irrational feelings and expectations that can hinder me.
… becoming more restful and peaceful.

I keep saying becoming more, but with that I really mean less. This world yells do more, build a bigger audience, and be you to everyone. I want to quiet the demands, serve faithfully where God has me, and be me knowing my capacity is smaller than I sometimes wish it was. So, yes, more God, but less of most everything else.

Becoming is about transformation. It’s an ongoing series of actions and decisions that come from a foundation established long ago. Becoming is living.

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Of course, I’ve put together a soundtrack for this season {BECOMING 2020}. And let’s revisit soundtracks from other years: RESCUE 2018. FAITHFUL 2019.

Here are some additional resources that have encouraged me to get where I am on this journey to becoming: